I’m in a shitty mood. I cleaned the house…like super-cleaned every room a couple days ago, knowing the realtor would be coming to look at it sometime this week. Well, he’s coming this afternoon, so I was re-surveying the house, and now I’m just in ill spirits. I spent the last half hour or so cleaning up stains in the guest room. I can’t live with a child…seriously, if you stain someone’s carpet, you tell them, not try to hide it. Luckily, I found a cleaning mix online and I had the ingredients so it worked well. Then I go to the guest bathroom…I open the door and a humid, nasty smelling chunk of air hits me in the face. Well, I’d noticed the remnants of her birthday cake just sitting in the bathroom (which I found odd but figured she had her reasons)...well, I finally looked inside to discover it was a DQ frozen birthday cake, which now explained the smell. Am I asking too much for little things like that to be handled by say…putting it out in the trashcan??? Seriously, I’m going insane. I’ve got so much looming over me right now, and this is just not what I need. The night before last, she woke me up at 4am b/c she wasn’t feeling well…I had to be up at 6. Maybe I’m just not a compassionate person but unless you’re dying, don’t wake me up at that hour…it ruins my entire day.

I met with the realtor trying to find me a house yesterday…she was trying to push for a more expensive house and then “get a roommate” and I was like…no way in hell. Selling realtor is coming today as I mentioned. This process is killing me. Just buying was hard enough a year ago but now trying to sell too…it’s more than one person can handle.

And to top that all off, things at work are just a blend of good and bad. Clients are loving my work (Mr. Creative told me yesterday how proud he was) and I’m getting projects moved in to production that have been sitting on the sidelines for a month, but apparently, it’s been decided I’m not to help with that anymore…I’m needed elsewhere. It’s just frustrating, and I guess I’m more sensitive about it all because of all the hell I’m going through to try to be more available. There are just some stubborn people, and well, it’s now becoming quite a bit like my past job. I wish I could just erase my entire knowledge of web dev and take my chances from there…because everyone has their methods in that arena that they hold to very strongly and it seems impossible to merge. It should definitely be a solo career.

My strong interest in the creative projects I have high billing in are all that’s keeping me sane. They’re going to be wonderful. I presented my first un-Mr. Creative-approved concept yesterday, and they loved it…“gave me goosebumps” they said. *sigh* Last time for a while I’ll get that rush…I’m excited to do the other types of projects but they’re more production than creative.

Anyway, I’m trying not to have any extreme reactions because my emotions are on a tight-rope so I need to wait till things mellow out a bit so I can look at the situation with a clear mind. I still enjoy working there…I’m just hoping everyone finally talks to each other. I just feel caught in the middle, but clinging tightly to the side that knows me best…

And poof, my day is already half gone. I want to drive out in the middle of the woods and just sit there and stare in to space and think about absolutely nothing. I just feel like no one understands everything that’s happening in my life…and that I have to personally handle every little part. It wears a person down…I have to get things marked off the list before I just collapse.

Yeah, so that was whiny but I needed to…it’s been awhile since I have. I think I’ve been doing really well about not bitching but this roomie situation was the straw.