Last night, I got a message in my shoutbox on last.fm. What makes this significant is the fact that I’ve had no correspondence with this person for nearly 3 years. His message paid no attention to that fact but simply offered up the new Margot album for downloading, just as he would have back when we were in daily contact.

It was almost surreal. I mean I had been sleeping all day, so I wondered if I were I asleep. I hadn’t seen that name in so long. The timing, too, seemed almost impeccable. When I have my lazy days of sleeping and lounging about, I often get a bit sentimental. I look at my limited number of people I count as friends and think of all the people who I’ve let slip away over the years.

Aside from some chat logs and emails, I have little other record that I ever knew them, and in many cases, I lack even those things. I wonder if I’ve been a lazy friend. In college, I let communication drop when we no longer had classes together. heh, granted there were a few where that was a welcome excuse to never speak again. Those people aren’t the ones I think about, though.

I think about Matt B., my calculus/farm show friend; Matt H., my CGT partner in crime; Matt L., the friend who pulled me from the gutter;

Anyway, I’m just thinking out loud here. I just think it’s insane to think all the people we encounter in life with whom we strike some connection. Then, so many of them go from being our daily focus to falling out of touch for not months, but years! I think I can officially say that there isn’t a single screename on my buddy list today that was there in college. I’m not sure what I’m trying to accomplish with this post, other than force readers to consider the number of friends they’ve let slide out of view. Do we get too busy or too lazy? Or are there just too many new people to keep the past around?

I’ve tried reconnecting with a few, but when the time is gone, it’s gone. We all have new lives & responsibilities, not to mention major changes in proximity. It all just makes me a little sad. Already, I’m down to about 4 friends from Indy who I’m staying in decent touch with. All that time it takes to establish real friendship and we let it all slip away in a matter of days.

At the same time, it’s interesting to note how little effort it takes to drop an old friend a note and catch up on a few years in a couple paragraphs. And there’s always the chance that your friendship window hasn’t yet closed with that person. I’ve had at least 4 people in the last couple years loop back in touch with me.

I’m just going to try to be more aware moving forward. I don’t like the idea of lacking a person who knows my history & quirks. I need to hold on to my Carrie’s, Rachel’s, & Amy’s, but at the same time, not let them hold me to my past. You always have to leave room for change.