Well, I just returned from my first visit with an Internet friend. Although brief, my spirits appear to have been raised quite a bit. He works at Marsh part-time, so I stopped to visit him there while I was in the area. hehe so I pulled into the Marsh parking lot, parked, and then I just sat there in my car and started laughing, while saying “haha I’m at marsh” to myself. Yeah, so when I get nervous or I’m in the middle of something really weird, I just go into giggle mode where everything is funny. I nearly lost my courage and left, because I didn’t think it was possible to enter Marsh without laughing uncontrollably. After a few deep breaths, I finally exited the vehicle.

I walked in and I saw my friend first off, but it seemed weird to walk up behind him, so I cut into the store and decided I needed to buy something. Well, after staring at the Kleenex selection for 10 min (ha, I’m a very thorough comparison shopper and was bummed that my coupons were at home), I was still too nervous to face him so I kept walking down aisles saying “This is weird, this is weird” interspersed with giggling. I eventually realized other people could hear me, so I turned down another aisle. I was so distracted with worrying about the other people that I didn’t immediately realize this aisle left me in perfect view of my friend’s register. I thought, “crap, no turning back now.” It was one of those moments where you feel very vulnerable, like you’re standing in an open field surrounded by T-Rex’s. Yeah like that. I tried, unsuccessfully I might add, to do one of those, “I’ll look at you and hope you don’t see me yet.” HA. As soon as I looked up from the floor, I meet his eyes. I just smiled and tried to hold back my nervous giggling. There was some weirdness waiting in line because it’s like you want to look over and make eye contact like you know the person but you technically haven’t ever met and so it’s weird. I finally got through the line and talked to him. One of those lovely “blank” moments. I can chat with the guy for hours but a simple “hi” or anything was impossible this day. He was really busy at work, so I was only there for 2 minutes and it was over.

I’m not sure how it went. Neither one of us said much but I didn’t want to interfere with his work. Honestly, it still doesn’t feel like it happened. It feels like I’ve been asleep all day and this has all been a dream and I woke up when I got home. Seriously, the whole morning has been trippy. 2 hours later, I’m still just laughing. So weird. Hopefully my 2 min weirdness didn’t scare him from talking to me. For those of you that know me, and for anyone reading the last 2 posts, you know I’m usually never lacking things to say :)

I was listening to Modest Mouse - The World At Large on the way back, and I realized I really liked the lyrics, so here’s an excerpt and a link to full.

I know that starting over is not what life’s about.

But my thoughts were so loud I couldn’t hear my mouth.

My thoughts were so loud I couldn’t hear my mouth.

My thoughts were so loud.