Well it had been exactly a month since I’d been to Crackers. Coincidentally, exactly a month since I’d bombed for nearly a week straight as well. It was weird going back. Felt like I’d been gone much longer.

I’d been postponing going in to get my last paycheck, embarrassed to face my fellow comedians. I saw Oskay & Ruble were working last night though, so it was a good opportunity to see one of their shows and handle the money business.

I sat back and studied how they handled the crowd. It really is all about confidence & control, but without being a jerk about it. I talked to the headliner, Dan Wilson, for a really long time. He told me what every comic has told me, that I have a likable face, and he said that goes a long way. (Not far enough based on my last shows, apparently :) But he also said, he’s been doing comedy for 20 years and he didn’t have a great Wed show this week. To the point, that he went to the club owner and said “I understand if you want to fire me.” He nearly filled the house last night though, and it was a great show. So it really is chance. I just lucked in to my first week of emceeing have nearly 4 sold out shows. Sure, a full house brings no guarantees, but it helps make people more comfortable to laugh.

I don’t know. I know I’m hurting myself by not taking stage time. Dan offered me a guest set, and I had my contact in Louisville say they wanted me to work there, too. I could be getting paid work, but it’s not worthwhile if I’m gonna travel around and suck because I lack the time & energy & good humor to write.

The project I helped on at work was so fun for me though. I love writing words that I get to recite. They don’t even have to be funny, so long as they elicit some emotional reaction.

I got a raise at work, and I’ve already saved a crapload of money. So the big question is do I get myself a new car or not work for a few months and do some traveling around? The problem with the latter is having 2 dogs that don’t travel well and cost $34+/day to board. I’m thinking I work long enough to pay off the car so I have reliable transportation and then see how much I love/hate my job at that time. Maybe stand-up isn’t exactly my calling but I think it could be the vehicle for me to discover what is. That and after seeing some other photographer’s work on indy.com, I think my band photography is pretty damn good. Those are two jobs that are hard to do simultaneously, but I’d prefer to do architectural photography anyway. I have options, as much as I tell myself I don’t.

Either way, it was a nice evening and sort of repaired my comedic spirits. I don’t think I’ll be performing anytime in the very near future, but I don’t want to completely lose touch with that world. It had treated me too well up until last month to just abandon it entirely.