Yesterday I dressed up, broke out my new 40s style business attire. I felt like Katharine Hepburn. It started out great, but five “So hot date tonight?” inquiries later, I was sort of regretting it. Bad call to dress up on a Friday. Even when I told everyone I was going to Jerry Seinfeld, I had to clarify I was going by myself. And so five “good for you’s” later…haha…

I’m still not feeling well. If I were, I might have had a hot date today actually. Hopefully, next weekend. Anyway, the show was at 9:30, which has been my bedtime for the last week, so I was hoping I’d be able to stay awake.

I got really excited as I filed closer and closer to the stage. The Davies Symphony Hall was beautiful. The interior lacked the elegance of the Opera House, but the outdoor lighting and glass windows made me feel remarkably glamorous walking up to it. I was 8 rows from the single mic stand on the stage. Such a thrill. And they were blasting Frank Sinatra which is always a good thing. The lady sitting next to me complimented my SIGG bottle. I explained how they were replacing Nalgene bottles, and she replied “Oh clean bottle, clean handbag…you’re just so clean.” She might have been making fun of me. If not, she was bragging on me to her seemingly very single middle-aged son on the other side of her. So hard to tell the difference. Her son assumed the fetal position for most of the show. No comedian is that funny. It was a sad spectacle. And after the show, the very tall woman on the other side of me asked of my perfume because “someone smelled wonderful.” Such a strange set of encounters.

Mario Joyner opened the show. He was incredible. In fact, I think everyone laughed harder and more frequently at him than Seinfeld. I thoroughly enjoyed his style, except for his closing line, which was dirty. He’d avoided dirty the entire rest of the set. Oh well.

Seinfeld looked old. I suppose he sort of his. I think the first thing I laughed at was hearing his voice in person. It didn’t seem like a real voice and yet I saw it coming out of this person ahead of me. Quite amusing. He was a very energetic performer, much more active than I expected. I didn’t love his new material as much as his previous run, but considering the bold move to permanently retire so much material, I had to show some degree of appreciation for that alone.

During both Joyner and Seinfeld’s performances, my mind kept drifting. I felt like a student. Studying how they handled the mic, length of pauses, and phrasing of stories. I’ve performed to a sold out crowd of 250. This show was sold out to 2,700 people. I was incredibly jealous. If I got a high from 250, 2,700 would be pure and simple euphoria. I think comedy may see my face again after all. That is if I ever feel better again. I’m to the 2-week mark and losing hope.

Regardless, I laughed so hard. I wanted to cough but it still felt so good to be sitting there laughing with so many others. I was so pleased with myself for buying that ticket. There was the single open seat in orchestra when I was buying it. It seemed to have a neon flashing arrow with my name on it, just beckoning me to splurge. Half of comedy is facial expressions and I was close enough to see faces. I had such a lovely evening. Seinfeld got a standing ovation (Joyner got a partial one) and returned for a 10-minute Q&A session. I wish I’d prepared a question, because I was totally close enough to get mine answered. Oh well. We all know I would have never settled on one.

On a completely unrelated note, I had an interesting trip home from work. The bus left me after work. I got on the one 3 buses back that only goes part of the way to my apartment. The driver asked which bus I was after and proceeded to make it his mission to catch that other bus. We blocked intersections and did other seemingly illegal maneuvers. It’s amazing the power of high heels and a skirt. I got out once and the bus left me again. We kept trying. Finally he successfully signaled to the other driver and I made my way over. Admittedly, it was a little creepy, but I appreciated the effort even if it were for less than ideal reasons.