I get paid hourly for my job, so, in essence, hours I’m not working because I’m doing something else are costing me money. After my experiences over the past week, that have amassed today into a take-on-the-world explosion, I’ve decided something needs to be done about people that waste my time.

I think a dollar for every 5 minutes of my time that is wasted seems quite fair. Just from the last 2 days, here’s what I’m owed so far:

1. Cingular - $3
   • First, their website made me login just to see phone selection and then it wouldn’t show me any of the phones because none of them were apparently applicable to my plan
   • Secondly, I try calling only to be notified that there is unusually high call volume and then asked to enter my number and proceed through a number of automated channels, only to find myself right back at the beginning asking for my number again to go through the same process. I was cool with the wait. Just put me on hold for pete’s sake.

2. Century 21 - >$5

   • After being told they would have paperwork to me & sign out of my yard by Nov. 7, it took an email and 4 calls the last 2 days to finally see any initial steps towards getting it done by EOD on this day…yes, Nov. 16. bastards.
   • And the lady had the nerve to slip in “it was so hectic yesterday, sorry i never got back to you”...oh so maybe you forgot the 8 days prior to then. AND “but i may freeze my tush off trying to get that sign out today”. I remained silent on the line with some great mafia-style comeback dancing in my head that I really had to fight sharing with her. She had yet to apologize for her team’s suckiness, and I was in no mood for her trivial “poor me” remarks.

3. Vet - $2

   • I called 3.5 hours prior to my arrival to order snip’s medicine. When I arrived asking for it, the girl looked at me like I wasn’t speaking english. After everyone there walking fast and pausing lots to look confused, they said someone failed to get the order in. Unacceptable.
4. Wal-Mart - $1 for putting health & beauty section on the complete opposite side from groceries so that i will have to navigate their superior selection of clothing
5. Wal-Mart employee girl - $1 for telling me & this other lady in a huge line in lane 7 that 21 & 22 were open. The lady & I trekked all the way down there to find they were 20 or less. We both rolled our eyes at each other.
6. Furnace man - $2 for failing to call me “later in the week” 2 weeks ago and really more b/c my furnace is working inefficiently which is costing me money

7. Insurance agent - $5

   • I found a better car insurance quote…$400 better to be exact. He asked me to redo the quote with my exact current coverage, which changed the quote by an entire dollar. Sent it to him….no response
   • He also asked if I’d graduated from college yet, because that would qualify me for a discount. Dumbass, I was graduated when I started working with you.

8. The roommate - I really don’t want to know how much

   • Apparently, her definition of keeping counters & stove wiped off allows for stuff to be spilled on every burner and caked on because it wasn’t cleaned immediately.
   • And clean floors seem to allow piles of rice in the kitchen and a disgustingly large amount of hair in the bathroom
   • I basically have to clean the entire damn house everyday to keep it acceptable.
   • And I got home from my trip obviously needing to do a large load of laundry, only to find that I had about 1/3 lid full of detergent left to use. #1, she should be using her own detergent. #2, at least fricken tell me if you use it all so I can buy new. And there was 1” thick layer of lint in the dryer. Somewhere along the line, it seems I adopted a child. Exactly 1 month left. I am counting the days.

If people would just openly say, “wow, I’m sorry I’m a dumbass and wasted so much of your time” I would gladly waiver the dumbass fee. However, that’s what makes it all so much worse, not one person apologizes and gives me that lil slice of victim redemption that I subconsciously desire to keep from wanting to go on a rampage.