Last night was interesting. It was the closing night of a strange weekend that had me feeling “off” for most of it, which maybe I can use to rationalize why I watched the new 90210. If my brain weren’t already confused enough, the neighbors above me blasting music on and off until 4am didn’t help it much. I’m not even going to try to cover the plethora of dreams it brought about, but I must touch on one. It was one of those eerie ones that sticks with you. (*somehow I just almost fell off the futon…I honestly have no idea how*)

The dream was more of a dream within a dream. I kept half-waking up within the dream, feeling a bit out of control of my body and being afraid of something around me. Yet, I managed a lucid state within the dream, so I remember thinking “you’re still asleep. wake up. it’s only a dream. wake up.” consciously(?) repeating it over and over trying to force myself awake. There were about 4 rounds of drifting in & out this state before I managed to wake myself and roll off my air mattress. (still in the dream) My apartment was close to identical but I distinctly remember it all black & white and very dark, sort of like a scene in an old building in a graphic novel. I was still feeling strange, as if I’d been drugged, uncertain where I was. My mind was slow but thoughts were racing around. I acknowledged that I had lived somewhere “wonderful and magical,” which sparked images of San Francisco. Then I remembered that Golden Gate should be in sight if I happened to still be there, because now, I was beginning to feel as if these images of San Francisco were from my past, not present. I ran to the window and ripped open the blinds and saw Golden Gate, right where it should be. I mumbled something to myself like “Oh, I knew I couldn’t have left you so soon…I just got here.” And then another crank of the neighbor’s music brought me to and that was the end of it.

Not sure what to make of it, other than some deep inner mind repair. Despite the lack of sleep, I woke up in better spirits than I’d been in all weekend. And today managed to go very well. I had at least 2 other people tell me that they had felt a little weird/tired this weekend, too, also wanting to get out but just not being able to bring themselves to do it. I felt better about the state of my weekend after that. I made a conscious effort to repeat thoughts from “The Art of Happiness” throughout my struggles. It didn’t set me straight, but I definitely attribute it to keeping me from getting depressed. That’s what it is all about. Keeping the content medium.

Today was the start of another Photo Week (Steph is this week’s host). The theme is “Auto,” basing each day around one of the auto settings on a camera. Today was landscape, and I struggled. I kept wanting to zoom in and eventually gave up slapping my hand and let myself take whatever I wanted. I walked around for a half hour at lunch and then took an hour walk towards home in the evening. It was a really pretty day, and my photos have gorgeous blue skies. But I just wasn’t feeling it. I was feeling nostalgic, possibly influenced by my weekend discovery of Sparkletack, which has a chance of becoming my new favorite blog.

I’m going to take a creative sidetrack here. I’ve noticed a creeping frustration in my last few shots here. I think I’m annoyed by all the blue: sky, water, glass on the buildings, etc. It makes every photo feel like a postcard, like it’s a generic shot of California. And maybe San Francisco is just generic California to a great degree. Nevertheless, it’s my home now. I believe everyone has the right to believe their home is special and do what they can to prove so to outsiders. When I walk on these streets, I often forget I’m in California until I happen across some of the sparse palms. More often, I think of all the history that is here: World’s Fair, earthquakes, social movements, and architectural achievements. I tend to look at parts of the city as if they are sepia toned images I’ve found online. And thus, I decided to give San Francisco the view I have of it in my mind, that of history. And now, there’s no blue and it makes me happy and finally feel as if I’ve begun to capture some essence of the city.

You can see all my photos here. The Flickr slideshow is pretty awesome, btw. They’ve made great improvements to it. Gosh, I do love these photo weeks. I finally took my D70 with me. It hadn’t left my closet since…well, I think since my first couple weeks here. Sad. Tomorrow is “macro” day, which will no doubt be fun. I’ll likely head downtown for those shots.

Ah well, it’s going to be a big week. I’m sort of, kind of heading up a component of a Nike Basketball project for the next couple weeks. It’s really basic component but I welcome any glimmer of trust in my skills. Basically, an Oct.1 launch is largely on my shoulders for 2 Nike sites, and I savor the pressure. Work is going really well. I’m feeling good about my position overall, and I think for the most part, people at least pretend to enjoy working with me :)

And I think I’ll be sleeping soon. I’m beat. But I feel good anyway. Likely the first time I can say a Monday really turned my week around in a good way. So thankful for a full work day.

PS I’m completely digging the Genius sidebar generated playlist. I used Andrew Bird’s “Lull” as the target match. It’s been a golden set so far, and I’m at song 54/100 in the playlist. Nice work, Apple. I shouldn’t have to tag all my music with a mood to be able to enjoy similar sounding songs.