August 08, 2008
Where’s that bus crush how-to?
Just a quick post. I’m gonna try to grab a nap before heading out to a midnight showing of Meet the Feebles. So today, I saw this guy on the bus for the 3rd time. We waited alone for the bus last week, but he got on a different bus. The next morning I didn’t see him, but he got on my bus at the next stop up. And a couple days later, he was on my bus again. He got on and we made eye contact. He made it halfway back and seemed to linger & debate before plopping down up where he was. Crap. I had an open seat next to me and everything. So when he goes to get off the bus, he stands by the back door and stares to the back of the bus. I looked up and we made eye contact, before I got scared and glanced down. I worked up the willpower to look up again and met his eyes again. This time we just held it and then he got off the bus. I was like “WTF just happened”. I should mention that I posted a missed connection after the 2nd sighting, so the strange exchanging of glances made me paranoid that he had seen the missed connection and was now just sizing me up…or just thinking “why does this girl keep looking at me?” *sigh* Tyler tried telling me that eyes can only say so much. They should say everything, dammit. Every other person that I make eye contact with on the bus ends up sitting by me. That’s just how it works. Pay attention next time.
Well, this morning, I saw him again for the first time after our staring. I didn’t notice him until I saw someone glance back at me. He sat 2 seats ahead of me. I debated swinging up but decided instead that I’d hand him my card when he left the bus. Naturally, I thought I wouldn’t have a biz card or a writing utensil. I had both but as he literally stood a foot away at the back door, I lost all willpower to hand it over. For one, the bus was way too quiet, and I didn’t know anyone else. If I’d had a friend there, I would have done it if only to keep from looking weak. Sadly, I had no image to maintain for these strangers, except apparently the lack of a reputation of being that quiet girl that accosted the poor boy with the red bag.
But that’s not all. My bus is where it all happens. A couple weeks before I left for Amsterdam, I saw a profile view of a guy near the front of the bus who I was convinced was Johnny. I was like “Did that bastard come to town without telling me?” He got off at the same stop as me, and that was the last I saw of him, until yesterday. Well, I didn’t realize it was the same guy until today but anyway, he was waiting with me at the bus stop by work. Sure, I thought he was cute but I already had this other bus crush. You can only handle so many. Well, this morning, I was waiting for the bus, and around the corner walks this guy. We did a subtle acknowledgment that we had seen each other before, like an eyebrow raise. When I saw him once we got on the bus, I realized that he was my Johnny look-alike, but he really looked nothing like him up close. So yeah, now I have a bit of another bus crush forming, since this guy works & lives near me. That sounds really convenient, don’t you think? Also, my other guy…well, it sort of would be nice if he’d sit by me. I mean I get on the bus first. I sat near the front for the last week, to make myself more accessible. I just need to get over my fears and go for it. Worst case he’s not interested, in a relationship, or gay. And 2 of those leave room for a friend that lives nearby at least.
So yes, this was boring as crap, but I need to post it to remind myself. If I don’t pursue these guys to some degree, I’m gonna have to read this in 10 years when I’m bitching about never being able to find decent guys and be forced to admit I had some chances that I chose to pass up.
Next time, Mindy. Next time.
Gospel - The National