I’ve been meaning to speak of this for quite some time, but I wanted to wait until I had visual evidence. For the past week or so, I have had threats upon my life. When I stand on my back patio to take Snippy out to potty, I happen to stand in close range of a bird nest located underneath the deck above my patio.

At first, I thought this bird had just swooped a little to close to my head. However, as the bird got closer and closer to my head and the chirping got more and more shrill, I realized I was being threatened by this seemingly harmless Swallow.

I am beginning to fear for my well-being. Now you may not understand the true seriousness of this issue. This bird has come within inches of my eyes, while swooping in a huge U-turn in front of my face. This, coupled with the chirp of doom, is bound to frighten anyone. One sudden gust of wind or sudden loss of depth perception on the bird’s part, and I’m a gonner. Her/his claws would rip right through my flesh, leaving me blind or completely disfigured.

I risked these horrible fates to secure these images as evidence. I stood directly beneath the nest and zoomed out as far as I could to simulate actual distance from my eye. So, as you can see, this bird was damn close! Who knew that taking your dog to use the facilities was so dangerous.

On a lighter note, Howard has officially adopted the runner ducks. They go with him everywhere. Maybe Howard has finally accepted his position in life as a duck. Either that or now I have three ducks with an identity crisis on my hands. I guess we’ll have to wait & see. Oh, and in case you’re slow, my picture visualizes two popular sayings: “keep all your ducks in a row” and “duck, duck, goose”. Completely unplanned, of course.