Fedex.com says my laptop was loaded on their trucks at 4:15 am, so I keep staring out the window hoping to see the truck. Excuse me for being excited. Anyway, I was looking out just now and I saw Howard! Yes, I was beginning to fear something had happened to him. He’s all good though, and it’s so wonderful that I can still keep an eye on him from here. I was getting a little nervous, though, because he crossed the road by himself. I thought, “well wouldn’t it just be my luck to see a car fly around the curve and hit him.” I don’t need any more reasons to go to therapy.

The wind is pretty strong, and I keep hearing damn wind chimes like they’re in my house. I’ve looked at the neighbor’s houses, and I see no wind chimes. I should check the front of my house. brb. Sheesh, no sign of them. My neighbors must think I’m insane. First, they see me walking alone at night from the bus. Then, last night I put up Xmas lights on my front porch but changed my mind 15 min later. And now, I’m running out to my front porch and looking all around like I’m lost. I suppose I did always want to be the “crazy lady” next door. Just wait until I’m old. Anyway, those are some damn loud wind chimes. I should call the cops. heh

Also, I think I hate my job. What else can I say? I’m an entrepreneur at heart. I’m cool with authority so long as they know more than I do, and if they don’t, they don’t pretend to. My latest project didn’t really help my view of this. Also, I figured out the difference between high & low paying jobs. Low paying jobs allow you to leave work. High paying jobs demand your brain at all hours of the day. As hypocritical as it may be, I detest working with people who email me in the middle of the night demanding something. It’s severely affecting my mental state. I need to be able to separate work from my personal life. You know they say it’s bad to bring the office home with you. There’s no hour of the day I’m free from freelance people calling, work requests, or mass emails. I’d like a somewhat regular schedule so I can have a life.

I’ve also realized, as cool as it might be to know, I don’t care about Unix commands. It’s twisted, but it’s as if I’m trying hard to fit in with the geeks. However, I’m not a complete fucking geek, and I don’t want to be. I’m not against working nights or after I leave work, but seriously, sometimes technology makes us all too accessible. I’m ready to find a completely different career and keep the freelance (with more restrictions on client contact times) to support my web interest. Any career suggestions? I need something where I can be the boss, and if not the boss, then I better not know anything about the field of work. I loved the factory job I had one summer because I respected my supervisor’s experience and accepted my lack thereof.

Apologies for the long ass posts. There’s a lot in my head right now.