This morning I did a horribly embarrassing but spiritually healing act.

I felt fate on my side after the bus driver noticed he left me running behind him and stalled at the next light so I could catch the bus. At the next two stops, my two “bus crushes” boarded. I had always seen them on the late bus. Strange. It was a sign.

Yet, I chickened out again in handing my card to the true bus crush. The other guy isn’t really a crush, especially since he & what I assumed to be his g/f ran past me on the sidewalk just a few days ago, but we get on/off the bus at the same stops, so there was a location factor that would make being friends super nice.

I knew in my head how “bad” this talk was going to sound. I had no grounds for coming across as anything but crazy.

And still, when we got off the bus and he started down the sidewalk and I considered what a terrible decision I could be making, something took over control of my body and drew me closer & closer to him. Next thing I knew, I was tapping his shoulder. WTF. I think we know how this goes from here. I basically made a fool of myself to this complete stranger who I now know is Chris who works 9-6 and attends law school at night. *sigh* I told him I didn’t really expect to hear from him ever.

I crossed the street to work and my head was spinning. I could not believe I’d basically just offered friendship to a perfect stranger. (Though this has yielded some stand-up material about Facebook friends vs real-life friends.)

I immediately called Tyler, who was mortified by my story, but definitely getting a good laugh from it. And I did as well. I’m getting really good at laughing instead of dwelling. I realized that by doing what I’d done this morning, I’d given myself a free pass for the day. No situation, no person, or anything could make me much more embarrassed than I had made myself earlier that morning. (I feel like I’ve said this before, but how easily I forget.)

So today I became a bold little soldier and despite my better judgment about being in bed at a decent hour, I’m taking it out tonight. If I don’t come home with at least 1 friend, then my morning humiliation will have been in vain. *fist* But I’m super excited about Worst Music Ever and my request for some Flagpole Sitta. Friend or no friends, today, I did more than just think about doing something. Action is quite satisfactory.

Good times.